But my questions is: do people actually know how to do that and is it working?
The difficult thing about the act of trying to "let it go," (whatever "it" is for you) is that you continue to focus on the thing you are trying to let go. You keep talking about it and processing it with your friends, and then at the end say that you just need to let it go. And you do that over and over with several friends and in your head to yourself...until you get exhausted. You could even become kind of obsessed with letting "it" go. But the more you process it, the harder it is to let go. Why is that?
Well, as many of you know I'm a big believer in the power of your focus. Where focus goes, energy flows. So when I realized that my practice of trying to "let go" was keeping my focus on the very topic I was trying to let go, I knew something was wrong with my strategy.
My "aha" moment came when I learned that truly letting go actually meant I had to shift my focus. Like literally stop giving my attention to the thing that I was trying to let go. Let it fizzle out. That was the only way to move through it.
No matter how big or small the thing is you are trying to let go, the fastest way to move through it is to stop giving it energy. That's it. Of course some things are more entrenched in your identity and such so it might feel harder to re-focus them but it's still possible.
Instead of letting go I practice looking forward. Below are some strategies to help you look forward.
1. Make a gratitude list. What things are you grateful for?
2. Do something that feels good. How can you simply distract yourself and have fun?
3. Stop talking about it. Like for real, listen to yourself and tell a new story. What is the new story you want to tell?
4. Practice forgiveness and compassion. Is it really serving you to hold on to the anger, resentment or sadness?
5. Set higher standards for yourself. If your life depended on it would you continue telling the same story?
6. Shift your expectations. How can you practice more acceptance of yourself and others?
What are you looking forward to today?
Be Well, Be Radical