To associate yourself with a memory or thought means you are experiencing it through your own eyes, in the first person. For example, in the process of falling in love you think of a pleasant memory over and over and over, in the first person. To your subconscious mind it is as though you are experiencing that memory over and over again for real, which intensifies your feelings toward it. These mechanics are also similar for when a phobia is created.
To dissociate from a memory means you are experiencing it in the third person. In other words you see yourself in the picture. When you dislike someone or something your mind experiences it from the dissociative perspective, kind of like watching yourself on a movie screen. The more you do this, the more your subconscious mind will disconnect itself from the feelings associated with that memory and actually move toward disliking it. That is how you fall out of love or also get over a phobia.
How this is helpful for Heartbreak:
To heal faster from heartbreak, it is helpful to do the reverse of the above process. To get over someone you need to associate with the negative memories and dissociate with the positive memories. So that means taking the negative memories of the person and remembering them from the first person perspective (through your own eyes). This will intensify your dislikes. Then whenever you catch yourself thinking of positive memories, freeze those memories and shift the perspective so they're in the third person (like watching yourself in a movie scene). That's it. Do it as many times as necessary until you start feeling differently. It's remarkable who quickly your feelings change.
Try it for yourself and see what happens.
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